Each woman that we have the privilege of doing life with comes to us with a similar, yet unique story of abuse. Abuse is a tragic reality for many women in Lesotho. This abuse shapes their outlook on life and how they think their lives should be. Some women are abused throughout their entire lives, and because of this they think that this is simply the way life is supposed to be and it will never change for them. One woman who graduated from the BDSL Vulnerable Women’s Program had this belief.
This is her story, in her own words:
I am a 22 year old Mosotho* girl. When I was growing up, my father got in an accident from the mines so he was no longer working. Nevertheless, he was the bread winner in my family. He was stressed, if I may say, that stress made him to be violent. He drank a lot. At times he came from somewhere we didn’t even know, drunk. He would beat everyone in the family beginning with my mom. We didn’t know where to find help because our neighbors would say, “Oh! Nothing we can do, please go before he realizes you are hiding here!” That made our lives more and more difficult in such a way that we even decided to hide in the mountains, sleep there, and come back in the morning. Nobody, including our family members, was able to help. Indeed when days are dark, friends are few.
We went to the police station telling them about how we were abused, still there was no help. We were physically abused for a very long period of time. And it started even before I was born. Imagine, we are 7 in my family and I am the 5th . Indeed, I just can’t even count how many years. I hated my father so much that I even wished that it could be better and pleasing to have no father. I didn’t even like anybody who was called a “man”…I was depressed, helpless, worthless, unlovable, etc.
I grew with all these things, with the thought that maybe this is how I was created to live for my entire life so I should get used to all the abuses and challenges. These grew with me until 2012 when I received Christ as my personal lord and savior. In the that year something very bad happened that I can’t yet talk about, that made me say these words: “Life is unfair, men are all the same, they are a bunch of difficulties and full of abuse”.
Luckily enough, I came to BDS. So I became new and intended to forgive everybody that has harmed me and live a new life in Christ. I have even said to myself that God is my father. Yes, I have experienced His love and care and a wonderful father He is to me. The fear of men has not yet disappeared at the moment, and I wish and would love for it to disappear one day and live a fearless life.
This strong young woman is now working hard to make a better life for herself. She is using sewing skills she learned in the BDS program to generate an income for herself while she finishes school. She even volunteered her time back to BDS to help teach sewing skills to victims of human trafficking. She continues to pursue her true Father, fully trusting Him while on the path of healing. Working through the pain of one’s past is not an easy task, but with love, support, and the help of our Father anything is possible.
*Mosotho – a person from Lesotho.
Rebecca Lanham is the Program Director for Beautiful Dream Society in Lesotho.